Anxiety

straight.com

Hello, old "friend." I made a deal with you long ago that you would protect me. If I obsessed about you hard enough that I wouldn't feel pain, I wouldn't feel fear. You promised me control and power. I sold my soul to you in exchange for perfection and excellence, but you deceived me. Instead, I received shame, distorted reality and irrational worry. All I wanted from you was goodness, righteousness and absolution. You were so needy and tiresome, but I couldn't complain about you. Nobody else could see you, so to others I was just crazy, but to me, you were very real, haunting me, paralyzing me. I was raised to know how to deal with invisible sources of evil and deception. They taught me to seek refuge with the Creator from the cursed one, but they never taught me how. Instead, I unknowingly made pseudo-blasphemous deals with apparitions in hopes that maybe, just maybe, things can be okay. So, old "friend", it is time that we part and our deal is called off, but I am lonely and your mistreatment is still familiar and a bit comforting. Please know that I have made my intentions clear at this point and I will no longer enable you to control my life. Up until now, you have done enough, but I no longer need you. You don't work for me anymore and it's time to move on. I'm sorry, but I need to do what is good for me. I can only pray that I don't replace one fictitious "friend" with another.