Zombie Caretaker
I'm here yet again. Calling out to the realm of ghosts and spirits. I didn't realize how much I was dependent on the positive regard. I didn't know that this is what I felt in between the messages, in between the affirmations. The next message calmed the fire but never extinguish it. The match was lit long ago. Today was very difficult. It's really hard to not reach out, not to try again. No good morning. No goodnight. As if I am already dead. Did I made her my higher power? Is that something that I can still do after all this time? I felt so good for the first time in a while. Sigh. I did love the good times. It's so cruel. Why can't I feel that way all the time? Did I make her my drug? My numbing medicine from all the anxiety and sadness? I hope not. I really hope not. I didn't mean any disrespect. I tried my best. I really did. I can't believe I'm still going. I thought that I wouldn't be able to write like this after so long, after I lost hal
